Saturday, August 28, 2010
Welcome to "Behind the Door." If you're here, you are probably the adult child of a hoarder or you are currently trying to help a loved one who hoards. Or maybe you hoard. Whatever your reason for being here, please know that this is a safe place to post your comments and concerns, express your frustrations, congratulate yourself on a small victory, or just drop by and chat.
I don't know exactly where I'm going with this blog. At first, I thought it would be a good idea to keep a journal to keep track of my progress as I wrangle with the emotional rollercoaster of helping my elderly mother manage her "stuff." Then I remembered that, in spite of the outpouring of emotions and tangled prose that went into my high school and college journals, I hardly ever revisited those little volumes ... so perhaps keeping a journal just for myself woudn't be all that helpful.
But I have kept a few other leisure and professional blogs over the years, and it has dawned on me that having feedback from other people with the same interests (or the same problem) is tremendously helpful.
So instead of a journal, I chose to blog about my personal experience with hoarding, and I also plan to post helpful links and tips I find along the way.
I call this blog "Behind the Door" because that's how so many of us grew up: behind closed doors and drawn curtains, ashamed and humiliated at the conditions our families chose to live in.
Many of us are still "behind the door" because we do not wish to publicly identify a hoarding loved one, either because our loved one is in denial of their condition or because we do not wish to embarrass them. Those of us who are still "behind the door" are most in need of a safe place to tell our stories and make comments without fear of our loved one discovering their story being told in public. Many of us live lives of quiet anonymity on this subject. A lucky few may be able to discuss it with a sympathetic spouse or friend who understands that hoarding is a disease and that a ruthless one-time housecleaning won't stop the problem.
A dear friend who has been involved in Adult Children of Alcoholics for many years doesn't know this yet, but she gave me the idea to make this a place where people can comment anonymously if they wish.
Feel free to join me here. I hope my small effort is helpful to you in some way.